Is your boss lazy and incompetent or a rude micromanager? Do you feel they are not qualified for the position or they don’t listen to you or your team? Do you just want to go off on them some days because of the incompetence you have witnessed? All of these types of bosses can make for a very stressful work day. The last thing you need is to lose your job because you lost your cool. So what are some ways to cope with a bad boss?
Coping with a bad boss can be challenging, but there are strategies you can employ to manage the situation. Here are some steps you can take:
Assess the Situation
Understand the specific behaviors or actions of your boss that make them difficult to work with. This will help you develop targeted coping mechanisms. Try to understand why your boss is bad. Maybe it’s micromanagement and that is all they know about management. They could have been promoted for the wrong reasons,. They may also be overworked, undertrained, or misunderstand what leadership is. Part of a way to cope is to learn more.
Does your boss micromanage? Maybe they have trust issues and that could be something that you could address with them. Sometimes people are promoted because they are good at the job/skill, but lack the training on how to manage people. Possibly encouraging a leadership training. Some leaders are overworked themselves and need the help and commenting you want to support them could be of benefit. The best way to move forward is to assess what you are dealing with first. The more you can communicate and listen to your boss, you can learn so much about the situation.
Maintain Professionalism
Regardless of your boss’s behavior, it’s important to remain professional and focused on your work. Avoid engaging in negative or confrontational behavior that could reflect poorly on you. Don’t raise your voice or roll your eyes or say disrespectful things, it will then become about you and not them. This is a perfect place to practice your emotional intelligence. If you see they are struggling or floundering, try providing your manager support. Some managers feel like they have to do everything themselves and showing you are observant and willing to help can go a long way.
Pick the right time to have any of these conversations. If you see they are agitated, that may not be the best time. Let them know you would like to speak with them and have a few concerns, so whenever they have some free time you are open to discussing. Also always continue to maintain credibility by meeting your commitments and deadlines. It may seem like a good idea in the moment to turn in something late, as it will negatively impact your boss, but it will negatively impact you as well.
Seek Support
Talk to trusted colleagues, friends, or family members about your experiences. They can provide advice, a listening ear, and emotional support during challenging times. Going to work everyday dealing with a boss that is absolutely frustrating can take us to our limits. So it is vital to have a support network to vent. If you are going to vent to your colleagues be sure they are ones you trust. As some people may take that information right to your boss before you get a chance, leaving a really bad impact. I have seen time and time again being in Human Resources that your ‘work friends’ will turn on you in a heartbeat if their job is on the line. Be careful who you confide in at work.
Understand Their Perspective
Try to understand why your boss behaves the way they do. This can tie into assessing the situation and then trying to place yourself in their shoes. They may be under stress or facing pressures from their superiors. This perspective can help you empathize and approach the situation more objectively. Sometimes offering a listening ear you can learn so much more about their situation and thought process. Active listening is an easy way to get an insider perspective and obtain information to use to your advantage down the line. As you learn more, you may come to find that they suffer from imposter syndrome and are behaving the way they are to overcompensate.
The long short of it, is try to think of what they are dealing with as a way to help cope with your boss’s behaviors. They may not have great qualities as a boss but understanding their perspective and situation can definitely help have a bit more sympathy and lessen your urge to lose your cool. However with that being said, just because they may be in a tough spot does not give them the right to be disrespectful, rude, or harassing in anyway. So if that is the case then you need to proceed to Human Resources, as that can be considered creating a toxic work environment and/or harassment depending upon the scenario.
Communicate Effectively
When interacting with your boss, be clear, concise, and respectful. Effective communication can be challenging at times, but utilizing all of your soft skills will be important to ensure you are both on the same page. Remember that you don’t have to like everyone you work with, but you do need to be respectful and able to provide results for the company.
My recommendation is to document important conversations or instructions in case you need to refer back to them later. This can help in situations where your boss told you something and then later said they did not, impacting your work day. Or this can help in those previous noted scenarios of harassment or toxic behaviors that you have written record of the occurrences. Documentation is a lifesaver.
Focus on Your Own Performance
As you cope with a bad boss, its best to concentrate on doing your job to the best of your abilities. Maintain a positive attitude and deliver high-quality work, even if your boss is not appreciative. Your performance can speak for itself. Part of focusing on your performance is to ensure you embody the leadership skills you wish your boss had. Again you don’t have to have the title to be a leader. So lead by example. Show your boss how it should be done through your actions. Don’t let it impact the quality of your work.
Seek Feedback & Suggestions
Approach your boss or other trusted colleagues for constructive feedback on your work. This can help you identify areas of improvement and demonstrate your commitment to professional growth. This can show them that you value their opinion and that you want to be the best that you can. Once they have provided feedback to you, its a great time to share your feedback with them. Remember a work relationship is a two way street. An example of a statement you could use is below.
“Thank you for providing me with feedback. It’s greatly appreciated. We all have room for improvement and I want to keep learning and growing. I am working on my leadership skills, and I know I don’t have to tell you this, but honesty and transparency are of utmost importance. So as someone who is familiar with this, I wanted to practice my skills by sharing some feedback with you, if you don’t mind.” So there you are being appreciative, respectful, professional, showing growth and flattering them at the same time to soften them up to hear your feedback. Its always about the approach.
Set Boundaries
Establish clear boundaries to protect yourself from excessive demands or unreasonable behavior. Politely communicate your limitations and prioritize your well-being. As you set boundaries with your difficult boss it is important to practice your soft skills during this process. Its about connecting and relationship building, whether you are doing so to get closer to your boss to better understand or you are building relationships elsewhere to help advance your career. Setting your boundaries can help build your self confidence to keep addressing your frustrations and concerns, making the next time that much easier. Part of boundary setting is letting your boss know what is unacceptable to you, its almost like you have to train them.
An example of this would be responding to emails past 5 pm. If you continue to respond, that demonstrates to your boss you are open to working past the end of the work day. A bad boss will absolutely take advantage of that. So if you don’t want a request come through your email to have it done by the morning, then don’t set that precedent for them.
I had a boss that would call me at 4:58 pm on a Friday to chat because that was when he was free. I did not answer. He of course did not like that and sent me an email expressing as such. I just responded back that its best to set aside a dedicated amount of time to give the topic the time it deserves, as two minutes is not enough. He learned not to call me then. So he tried messaging me instead. So I did not respond. He eventually learned my boundaries and stopped this behavior.
Look for Alternative Solutions
Explore internal transfer options within your organization if your current situation becomes unbearable. Moving to a different team or department might offer a fresh start with a more supportive boss. A lot of the times you need to loop in your boss that you want to make an internal transfer, and that can make many people uncomfortable, but again its about your approach. If you flatter them and talk about how much you have learned from them and really want to showcase your new skills in a more challenging role, that will go much further than the alternative.
Seek External Opportunities
If all else fails and your work environment becomes toxic, consider looking for new job opportunities elsewhere. It’s important to prioritize your mental health and overall well-being. As much as people will tell you its professional to give your boss a heads up you are looking, dont! I do not recommend that. Keep it to yourself until something comes up. They may say it doesn’t impact how they treat you, but it absolutely does. Some people do it without realizing it, but it will happen. You will get looked over for opportunities, you’re one foot out the door and don’t want to give you a bonus, or if a layoff is coming you will be the first on their list. So always keep that information to yourself until you have the next opportunity.
So maybe you have always wanted to open your own business one day and your current situation is just not enough anymore. Look what else is out there. It may not present itself as soon as you would like. So as you explore these other external opportunities be sure to follow the above coping mechanisms in the meantime. Remember learning ways to cope with a bad boss, that every situation is unique, and these coping strategies may not work in all cases. Trust your judgment and take actions that align with your personal and professional goals.
