When looking at the 5 steps to quickly improve your emotional intelligence, its important to understand what emotional intelligence is! Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize and understand emotions in yourself and others, and to use this awareness to manage your behavior and relationships.
Improving emotional intelligence is a valuable endeavor that can enhance your personal and professional relationships, as well as your overall well-being. Having control over your emotions can help build relationships that are vital to your career progression, such as promotions or salary negotiations. It can also help reduce stress, defuse conflict ,and improve overall job satisfaction.
Here are five ways to quickly improve your emotional intelligence:
1. Increase Self-Awareness
Self-awareness is the foundation of emotional intelligence. Take the time to reflect on your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. Pay attention to how you feel in different situations and how your emotions influence your actions. Practice mindfulness and self-reflection to gain a deeper understanding of your emotional patterns and triggers. Some of your reactions and responses may be due to your unconscious bias, and is important to do some self reflection in such emotional situations.
We have all been in a situation where we wanted to ‘go off on someone’, but knowing that ‘now is not the time or the place’ shows emotional intelligence. For example if you are experiencing what we call ‘mansplaining’, this could enrage you in the moment. You recognize in the moment your immediate emotional reaction will likely have a negative impact and may cause more issues in the future. It’s about regulating your emotions, but also being able to recognize how others are responding as well.
2. Develop Empathy
A way to recognize how others are responding, its important to have empathy. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Cultivate empathy by actively listening to others, seeking to understand their perspectives, and validating their emotions. Practice putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and consider their emotions and experiences. This helps build stronger connections and fosters more effective communication.
If you have ever worked in customer service you know you can take the brunt of an emotional customer. However deep down you know that its not about you. Taking that mindset into a tense conversation is important to remember. They may have received some terrible news before they talked to you and are just taking it out on you. The ability to recognize and diffuse the situation will be beneficial for both parties.
3. Enhance Emotional Regulation
So a third step would be emotional regulation, which is the ability to manage and control your emotions effectively. Learn to recognize and acknowledge your emotions without being overwhelmed by them. Practice self-regulation techniques such as deep breathing, mindfulness, or engaging in activities that help you relax and reduce stress. Developing emotional regulation skills allows you to respond to situations with clarity and composure.
As we discussed in a previous scenario of customer service, sometimes you need to walk away or take a deep breath before you can continue to speak to this upset individual. That is you practicing emotional intelligence. You can do it and have done it without even realizing it sometimes, but its important to practice.
4. Improve Social Skills
Social skills are crucial for building and maintaining healthy relationships. Focus on improving your communication, conflict resolution, and interpersonal skills. Practice active listening, effective verbal and nonverbal communication, and empathy in your interactions with others. Seek feedback and be open to constructive criticism to enhance your social skills further.
The better relationships you build, the better you can understand some of your coworkers or managers emotions. If their behavior is out of the norm then you know this has nothing to do with you. Its also a good time to speak to them and let them know you are there to talk, as you noticed they seem upset. Relationship building is key to emotional intelligence in the work place.
5. Continue to Learn & Grow
Emotional intelligence is a lifelong journey. Being open to learning and growing in this area. Read books, attend workshops, or participate in training programs that focus on emotional intelligence. Engage in activities that challenge you to step outside of your comfort zone and interact with diverse groups of people. This can be best accomplished by implementing a growth mindset. Seek feedback from trusted individuals to gain insights into areas for improvement.
A good example of learning and growing is to better understand what emotional intelligence is and what level you are at. By reading this book, Emotional Intelligence 2.0, hopefully you can better understand your triggers and coping mechanisms as a way to manage your emotional intelligence.
Final Thoughts
Remember that these 5 steps to quickly improving your emotional intelligence, but can take practice if you are not used to them. Be patient with yourself and celebrate small victories along the way. By intentionally developing your emotional intelligence, you can strengthen your relationships, communicate more effectively, and navigate emotions with greater ease and understanding.
